So life is hectic lately to say the least. It seems like the semester is ending at rapid speed and I am drowning in work. I have tried to be pretty productive lately though since I'm going home next weekend for Easter and I have a research paper due the Monday after. Rude! Who does that?? So, I'm rewarding myself with a little blogging.
For those of you wondering...TJ and I are still doing whatever it is that we are doing. And let me just say, it has not been easy as of late. I think I forgot how long distance relationships work. (ok, let's be honest, I think I forgot how all relationships work since it had been like a lifetime since I'd been in one) I hate not being able to see him or hang out with him whenever I want. I also hate that all our time is scheduled. We can't just spontaneously say "let's go get icecream!" Don't get me wrong, I love a Blizzard as much as the next girl, but I'm probably not going to drive 3.5 hours each way to get one. But that doesn't mean I don't want to any less. Does that make sense? I would love to be able to just drive in every weekend and see him but my grades and the gas prices do not like that idea. Sometimes it's hard too because I feel like he has a job and nothing on the weekends so he should be willing to come here whenever. Well, he's not. He is taking this little test called the MCAT in two weeks and well it is slowly melting my soul. I hate that test and I've never even taken it. It's been really hard trying to work around the ridiculous Princeton Review class schedule and all that other mess. With that class/taking the test has come a lot of stress. And I've learned that his stress= shutting down. Aka not really talking a lot, being crabby, and just generally not himself. We had a nice longggg talk about it one night and I feel like he was really honest with me about how stressed he is about the MCAT and PA school stuff (he applied to PA school and is taking the MCAT...long story short the PA school hasn't gotten back to him either good or bad news and everytime he calls they tell him the same thing "we are still reviewing applications" it's rolling admissions and basically it could be August before he hears anything and he sent his application in last August... unprofessional and not rolling admissions if you ask me!! so now he has to take the MCAT not really knowing if everything relies on his score and it's just a mess) I mean who can blame him for being stressed...he has no idea where he'll be or even what he'll be doing come August. So right now he's working on dealing with his stress better and I'm working on not reading into things too much (yes, that is by far my fatal flaw--well, one of many) But we do have a beach trip planned for the first weekend in May. It's the weekend after he takes the test and the week of my "summer break" and I think it'll be really good because it'll be time for just us to really see what is going on. I know that I really care about him and I feel like he's really showed me that I can trust him but at the same time I feel like every time I get really comfortable we will get in a stupid fight or have some deep conversation that makes me put walls up again. I know that with all the hurt I experienced before it is a process but part of me is scared that it will always be that way.
Life in Louisville has been kind of rough lately. I have been really homesick...not sure why. I think some of it has been because I want to just be able to see where TJ and I are but the majority of it is that I just really miss my family. I feel like I miss out on so much when I'm here. Babies growing up, people moving, and even just missing birthday dinners is hard. But like I said in my last post, I know I am supposed to be in Louisville. Too many amazing things and amazing people have come into my life since i've been here. So right now I'm dealing with it.
Just FYI- in a year and 2 weeks I will never take a test again! WOOHOO. I will be packing my bags and heading out to where ever my externship leads me. SCARY! I'm in the process now of trying to look around a little bit at possibly placements, but man- it's tough and nerve-racking! But the process will be here soon enough.
I went to Chicago last week for school and had a BLAST! (but I wish Gina had been there!!!!) It was a nice break even though it was for an audiology conference. I love Chicago, but I was ready to come back. A few of the girls in my room were about to drive me insane. One girl went to Chicago with literally $20 in her bank account! TWENTY DOLLARS!!! TWO-ZERO! She was a mooch on cab rides, got an attitude about paying for gas to get to and from, and didn't pay me back for the hotel until this past Wednesday. Call me crazy but she probably should have sat this trip out! Don't ya think?? The other girl had been to Chicago once before and acted like she was born and raised in Sears Tower. Someone would ask a question and she'd be all over it trying to answer. And if she thought you didn't know the answer or said something wrong, she pulled out her Droid and googled it. So, I was ready to get away from those girls but Whitney, Katie(the other girl in our room) and I had a great time and tried to ignore Miss Broke-as-a-joke and Miss ChicagoQueen as best we could and still had an AMAZING time! I think we should all go there with the REAL Chicago Queen...Miss Gina Trauger! That would be so fun!! I realize this can't happen for like 10 years because of school, life, jobs, etc. but just a thought :)
Ok, time to get back to work- trying to finish two presentations and a paper in two days. I think it's doable. Anyway, love you girls so so so so so so much! Missing you!
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